A priest's reflection on authenticity
AS I SEE IT
By Rev. Jim Innes
ONE OF THE IMPORTANT insights I’ve gained as I embrace retirement is the value of being authentically myself.
This newly retired phase offers a wonderful opportunity to revisit past interests, whether they are hobbies, sports, artistic pursuits, or thrilling activities. It also serves as a creative space for exploring new adventures and discovering fresh ways to express myself and engage socially. Whatever I unpack and discover, the important value is authenticity.
Too often, authenticity is overshadowed by conformity, which can become habitual and ingrained to the point of being confused about authenticity itself.
Oscar Wilde aptly stated, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” This sentiment underscores the balance between being authentic and adhering to societal and corporate expectations, a balancing act that I have found difficult at times in my career as a priest. One wishes to be part of a greater movement yet is occasionally paused by unpalatable direction.
Being authentic in a corporate context, even when faced with disagreeable directions, can be managed. At times, one may choose to let things unfold and trust the process. Other times, it is necessary to share your thoughts and engage in meaningful dialogue to find a workable balance. Unfortunately, and as I have found, there are times when you must say “no” and face the consequences.
I have never been good at saying “no.” My disagreeable feelings are often hidden behind a neutral façade as I think of ways to avoid the situation. And this is neither being truly myself nor helping the corporate whole.
When we are authentic, we risk rejection. Ralph Waldo Emerson quipped, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” I believe this accomplishment transcends personal success; being true to oneself in the face of rejection and pushback can be life-giving to the greater whole. I only wish I had more courage to act in alignment with what my mind told me was true.
The courage to be more authentically oneself begins early in life. Recently, I encountered a Facebook message that suggests, rather accurately, that individuals with an unhealed inner child often become insecure and overly accommodating, highlighting how people-pleasing can evolve into a coping strategy that undermines true authenticity.
As a priest, one must integrate authenticity with the call to serve as a loving and empathetic ‘shepherd to the sheep.’
This calling requires placing personal needs aside for the benefit of others. What renders this an authentic expression of self is that it’s a choice rooted in a spirituality of self-emptying, a core virtue revealed through participation. However, one may occasionally feel lost in the complexities of church politics, leading to a wavering authenticity driven by fear of reprisal. Furthermore, we often carry the burdens of personal baggage, a reactiveness that may impede our ability to be genuinely loving and caring.
As I transition into retirement, I have ample time to reflect more deeply on the choices I’m making. I want to be more authentic, free from the concerns of politics, but instead trust that, at my deepest core, I genuinely care about people and want what’s best for them, a trust that I have often failed to appreciate.
Authenticity is a multifaceted topic, and the act of being authentic transcends mere words or reactions. Brené Brown articulates this beautifully: “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” It is about living a truth that is deeply anchored in one’s core.
As I’ve reflected on my past to discover an authentic self-going forward, I have discovered that I’ve changed. The passage of years profoundly shifts one’s nature—not merely in body but also in mind. This realization renders authenticity a dynamic and evolving concept, one that invites continual growth and self-discovery.
Rev. Jim Innes is the rector of St. John's, Grand Bend with St. Anne's, Port Franks.