Understanding hate while craving a safe harbour
AS I SEE IT
By Rev. Jim Innes
We all long for a secure and comforting home environment. However, despite this common desire, different forms of extraordinary chaos continue to persist.
What needs to occur to make the safe haven we yearn for a possibility for everyone? How do we pass on to our children a world order that is less conflict-ridden and less violent than the world we inherited?
In recent weeks, there has been much news about various pro-movements, such as the pro-Palestinian and pro-Israel movements. Despite their differing approaches to achieving peace, they all share the common goal of feeling seen, heard, cared for, and safe. Essentially, they all desire a world order based on love.
However, even with such virtuous aims, violent conflict ensues, seemingly without end. Despite determined efforts, love can be painfully absent. What is missing? What is wrong? Why has loving peace not spread throughout the world?
A core value of every world religion is similar: it teaches us to treat others as we wish to be treated. Nonetheless, despite this very simple and pragmatic social value, we who swim in the same water can’t seem to share the pond.
It's not all negative; we often find ways to get along and resolve our differences, sometimes heroically. However, despite the efforts of many generations to put an end to violence and create a better world for their children, why do we continue to engage in conflict?
Perhaps, just maybe, as we examine the concept of ‘loving peace,’ we might try to understand the presence of Love’s opposite, Hate. Because where Love walks, hate can walk right beside it, often hidden and denied.
It’s one thing to desire peace, but it’s a different story to let go of the hate that destroys it. A better understanding of our hate is essential for fully loving, especially when facing complex realities that challenge us when differences arise.
Hatred can stem from personal wounds or inherited history. It usually arises from a fear that has been triggered and hinders the free flow of loving regard from within us. We get too busy protecting ourselves!
Remove Hate, and love breaks free, like the warm sun emerging from behind clouds. As I see it, letting go of hate is the best way to foster Love. Nelson Mandela said, “No one is born hating another person … people …learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught [retaught] to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
As I see it, there are two kinds of hate: their hate and our hate. Guess which one we can’t control? Guess which one we must control!
Loving behaviour, no matter how generous and sacrificial, is only half of what’s needed to make the world more agreeable to all. The other half involves stopping Hate by examining our own participation in it.
The truth is that deep within the human soul, hate is often present and hidden away, despite its loving core and pleasant presentation. We can be sucked into Hate's many-faceted expressions often suddenly and without warning. We need the grace of God to figure out what is and isn't love. And even more, grace to root out hate from behind the shadowed corners of our hearts and minds.
Rev. Jim Innes is the rector of St. John's, Grand Bend with St. Anne's, Port Franks.
Photo: Ben Wicks/Unsplash