And you remembered my name!
In a society where it is easy to go unrecognized, unnamed, and without belonging, some people are seeking a community of faith to call home.
GROWING BEYOND THE DOORS
By Rev. Canon Grayhame Bowcott
ON SUNDAY, at the communion rail, in my church of St. George’s, The Blue Mountains, as the members of the congregation received the bread and the wine, each familiar with this ritual act that is at the heart of our Anglican faith and practice, a young woman, new to our patterns of worship, hesitantly made her way to the front of the church.
I watched as she watched others, as some stood, others knelt at the rail, and she decided to kneel beside them. As the person on her left and right extended their hands to receive the host, so she did the same, following in their example.
When it came time to share the body of Christ with her, I spoke the familiar words: “The body of Christ, broken in love for you,” but before saying this, I spoke her name.
Her reaction was immediate. Among a crowd of unfamiliar Christians, this young woman was not expecting to hear her name. In what was only her second visit to our particular church, she was not expecting to be named in the vulnerable act of the Holy Eucharist.
Her eyes flashed wide, and a smile broke out on her face, as she responded: “Amen.” And, my hope of hopes was that in that moment she might experience a sense of being known, of belonging, among a family of Christians that seeks to make a home for her.
Some of my parishioners think that I have the gift of remembering names. I don’t. To be honest, I’m not very good at remembering them at all. But, what I do know, is how important our names are to our identity and our sense of belonging within a faith community.
What most people won’t know about me, (and now I am revealing it to all reading this article), is that after each church service on Sunday, as we are shaking hands and exchanging a comment or two, one of my intentions is to see if there is anyone that I don’t know in that lineup. Like the young, unknown woman visiting our church the previous Sunday. I am quick to ask for someone’s name, and after hearing it, I will keep saying it in the back of my mind until I have the chance to run to my office. Then, I immediately write down the person’s name and a description of them that I can’t possibly forget and stick it on a sticky note on the wall of my vestry table.
Most people don’t get a chance to see my collage of names and descriptions, out of sight, where others won’t know my system of remembrance (my cheat list)! This list exists for the express purpose of naming newcomers in moments when they are not expecting to be remembered.
Over the last decade of my ministry in the Blue Mountains, we have seen so many people come and go. Looking out on our pews, I can close my eyes and picture the members that are no longer with us. I can remember where they used to sit before they moved away or passed into God’s care. However, those pews are not necessarily empty, but are now filled with new members, many who are seeking to be known and loved within our community.
When I follow up with new members as to what keeps them coming back every Sunday, there is a common response among them: “You remembered my name.”
Who are the “namekeepers” in your church or congregation? Who is being tasked to recognize and welcome those who might be nervous to step through the doors? The ministry of first impressions is one that can be powerful and effective. It can lead to long-lasting relationships of commitment and trust, or, if neglected, can be one of the biggest missed opportunities of helping someone find the sense of belonging that they are looking for.
In a society where it is easy to go unrecognized, unnamed, and without belonging, some people are seeking a community of faith to call home. In their most vulnerable moments of first steps and first visits, the power of being named and remembered should never be taken for granted.
Rev. Canon Dr. Grayhame Bowcott is passionate about fostering congregational relationships and sharing our Anglican vocation with others. He serves as Rector of St. George’s, The Parish of The Blue Mountains, and as Program Director for the Licentiate in Theology program at Huron University.